Monster Dash Race Recap - AKA Team Ortho Rant

On Sunday October 20, I ran the Monster Dash Half Marathon.  My 11th half of the year, and arguably  a pretty bad decision going in considering I ran the Chicago Marathon last weekend.

But...I was registered.  And I hate wasting money.  So off I went!

Warning: this race recap will probably degenerate into a rant about how much I hate Team Ortho races, but I promise to stick to the facts.

The packet pick-up:

Did Saturday pick-up at the Congress Hotel.  I was registered for the Monster Dash as part of their three race series, so all they had for me was my number.  Pretty efficient once I looked up my race number.  They are pushing the three race series for 2014 ultra mega hard, but I learned my lesson from 2013.  No more Team Ortho races for me!

The carb loading:

Went to Blackbird Friday night, then got up to watch the EPL on Saturday morning (CHELSEA!!), drank 2 ciders.  Took a nap, ate a bunch of pizza, then off to the Blackhawks game!  Drank 2 beers and ate sweet potato fries.  I like making terrible decisions and living on the edge :) 

The start line:

Start time was 9 am.  Yay for sleeping in!  I rode my bike to the start line at ~8:50 am, found my friend, took a couple of pictures, and off we went!!

0-5K: The race starts by the baseball fields between Columbus and LSD and Roosevelt and Balboa.  You do a couple loop-ti-dos in Grant Park then along the lakefront, then it's straight south on the lakefront.  TONS of people running in costumes, and TONS of people who didn't line up by the correct pace sign.  I did a lot of bobbing and weaving for the first 5K or so.  There was also a very solid lack of water during the first 5K.  I read on the website that there would be 8 aid stations, so figured that maybe there would be at least one in the first 5K

5K-10K: Sweet, sweet water.  And more running south.  I have run this route approximately a hundred billion times, but at least there were costumes to keep me entertained.  I also missed the out and back aspect of this course as they took advantage of different parts of the path.  One of the fun parts of an out and back is side fiving people you know all over the course!

10K-15K:  Up and over the hill on 47th street, then a turn around and straight north to home!  I think there was an aid station in here somewhere.  Starting to get pretty bored at this point.  I think my body also started to realize that I had run a marathon last weekend.

15K-20K: Doing a modified run walk at this point.  Mostly because I'm really thirsty.  Because there are ONLY 5 AID STATIONS TOTAL!!!  I honestly don't care if you're going to have 5 aid stations, but don't say that there are going to be 8 aid stations.  That's just dangerous!

20-21K: Blew past the Shedd and then up and over the hill to the finish.  Got my awesome (??) bling, water and a banana and hit the road.

I finished in 2:17:18, my second fastest half marathon of 2013!

Let's see what was promised by Team Ortho:

Monster Half Marathon

• Monster Dash Hoodie racer SWAG - Too big.  Can't wear it.  Very manly.
• 3D belt buckle medal - I have an awesome new belt buckle if anyone wants to wear it.  This medal also DOES NOT FIT IN THE MEDAL HOLDER THAT THEY SOLD ME FOR DOING ALL 3 RACES!!!!!!!
• Get your bib mailed to you (choose this during registration by October 4th)! If you email us requesting the mail-out after registration the fee is $30. - Does $30 seem crazy to anyone else
• Chip-timed - True
• USATF Certified - True.  I saw the map online
• 8 aid stations - FALSE.  There were 5.  Maybe they mean between all three races
• On-course entertainment - Do the bucket boys count as on-course entertainment?
• Costume contest - Didn't participate
• 3 1/2 hour time limit - True

Anyhoo.  For all of the above reasons, I will not give another dime of my money to Team Ortho.  

If anyone needs me - I'll be trying to put this:

Round.  And 3-D

Into this:

Not my medal holder.  But you get the idea.

For the rest of the afternoon.

Next race: New York Marathon!